Thursday, June 30, 2011

Assembling furniture is a life test

One thing I've learned in almost 5 years of being married is that putting together furniture is one of those things that are a good test of the relationship. If you can survive that without fighting, you can survive much of anything.

Early on my wife and I would argue when doing furniture installation. I have my ways of working and so does she, but I also get super businesslike and intense. That isn't, how shall we say it, good for getting along. And it was pretty much always my fault for nothing watching how I was reacting.

Painting is supposed to be the same way, but we've never had a problem with that really.

Anyhow, I've been trying to work on this one. I know I can get super focused and snippy. Weirdly, it was parenting classes that helped me see my wife's point of view. Tone and ways of responding can communicate lots of things we don't mean, and I don't want to pass that on to the baby.

So I've been working on chilling out. The good news is we've assembled a lot of stuff for the baby's room. Got through the painting, crib and changing table assembly and assembly of our newest item (the glider chair) without a problem.

I've been told the crib in particular is supposed to be the test of the relationship. So far, so good.

This all has been important to me because while my wife has the ability to separate tone from words when it's all said and done, and keep it in perspective in the big picture, raising a kid is going to be starting from scratch. I don't want to communicate things I don't mean to a child who is still learning the language of life. So in an interesting way, learning about parenting has made me more thoughtful about being a better husband too.

The results have been good the past month - we've really been enjoying this phase and just being together.

Post #14 in my 90-in-90 blog challenge. Blog with us and join the fun. I'll be blogging both here and on my professional blog for the challenge. For more about the 90/90 challenge, read about my call for participants. The blogs participating are on the list at the right, or follow us on the #LUBlogTribe hashtag on Twitter

1 comment:

  1. Our test was long road trips. Which we shared already. Catholic marriage prep and extreme home makeovers are others. 19 years this August. Great stories for another evening hang out.