Monday, July 4, 2011

Becoming more observant

This probably isn't a shock to anyone, but my wife has been carrying the load on the pregnancy. I'm not just talking about the baby, of course, but all the symptoms and backaches and endless appointments that come with it.

In many ways, the expectant father is on the sidelines for much of this. And the support role is OK with me, but I'm much more used to being in the game and trying to be part of the experience and process in our marriage. I've had to learn how to be attentive in new ways without being annoying.

My approach mostly has been to try and anticipate what my wife needs, such as checking on her fatigue level or making sure she isn't forgetting water before we go out to stores. She's pretty good about saying what she needs, but she is a pretty tough lady so she sometimes doesn't let me know. So even though we've been married five-plus years now, I've had to learn to read her in new ways, to see things like fatigue or muscle soreness in her face or in her body language.

I dropped the ball a couple weekends ago. We were out shopping and I didn't notice that she had run out of water, and I'm not sure she noticed either. We went a few hours without her having water and she started to cramp up a bit. All the scary stories from our baby classes started shuttling through my head, the ones about early labor and why drinking water is so necessary. In the moment it was scary wondering whether my inattentiveness could trigger something like early labor.

Obviously it wasn't the case. But these are my newfound worries racing through my head and it makes me realize I need to be better, to pay attention more. I'm not going to be on top of everything, but I can be better.

The goal, really, is to handle the worrying load so Amy can focus on the whole being pregnant thing. The kinds of things I'm thinking about these days are completely foreign to me, but these seven-plus months have been a learning experience in how to be more in tune with things. Good for the baby, and good for the marriage.


Post #19 in my 90-in-90 blog challenge. Blog with us and join the fun. I'll be blogging both here and on my professional blog for the challenge. For more about the 90/90 challenge, read about my call for participants. The blogs participating are on the list at the right, or follow us on the #LUBlogTribe hashtag on Twitter

1 comment:

  1. Now you know why pregnancy lasts 9 months. You need that time to prepare: physically, mentally, and spiritually. Then you will need to make up for the 18 years worth of lost sleep. ; )