Sunday, August 14, 2011

Picking the right partner

I watch my wife with our son and realize all over again how lucky I am to be married to her. She's amazing, obviously, or else I wouldn't have wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. But watching her with my son has given me a new appreciation for who she is.

One of the great things about her is that she is so patient and kind. Those two qualities were the standout things about her that I have long come to love, and they sustain us in tough times. When we argue or when there are misunderstandings, we have learned to frame everything through the understanding that we love one another and want the best for each other.

This is knowledge we have in the background. Our little boy is still building this knowledge base. Everything in the world is so new to him and he doesn't have those comforting certainties built in his head yet. So when my wife is holding him and talking to him, she's giving him that kindness, understanding, patience, and love in a super concentrated form that he needs.

I knew she was capable of this (even when in those uncertain moments she, like any parent, wondered if she could do it), but watching her with Austin takes those things I knew about her to another level. I realize all over again, but through a new set of eyes, that I have the right partner not just for marriage but for raising a family.

So what's my secret to picking a great partner? Like I said, I lucked out, because she chose me. She puts up with a lot. We've joked for years that I'm a Tigger personality, and she provides balance. But she also indulges me when I need to let my mind wander or dream, because she's learned it's the source of the creative streak that fuels my teaching. Unconditional love, support, a personality that balances yours, and such .... those are all great, but you need reciprocal commitment. My wife doesn't quit, not on anything. That's how I knew she was going to be in this for the long haul.

I think my son sees it in her. He loves his mom so much, loves when she holds him and soothes him. I love it when I'm holding him downstairs and he hears her voice atop the stairs. His eyes open and his head cranes around. He knows who is going to take care of him. He is learning things I've known for a while, but it's so cool to see him understanding the nature of love itself.

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Post #60 in my 90-in-90 blog challenge. Blog with us and join the fun. I'll be blogging both here and on my professional blog for the challenge. For more about the 90/90 challenge, read about my call for participants. The blogs participating are on the list at the right, or follow us on the #LUBlogTribe hashtag on Twitter

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